Rebounding is never easy. After being in a long-term, committed relationship, trying to slip into a new one can be like trying to slide into a pair of skinny jeans (well, at least for me.) I am currently in a rebound relationship, and while I really want to make it work, I’m just not as “in love” as I was the last time around.
The biggest problem with the rebound is that you’re constantly comparing everything to the last relationship. Your ex wouldn’t have worn that shirt, or picked that movie. Good or bad, it keeps your old relationship alive. You may even catch yourself referring to the rebound by your ex’s name. It’s not fair that people take that personally. When you’ve spent so much time and energy devoted to one person, it’s hard to reprogram your brain for somebody else.
I’ve been on the rebound several times, and it’s never easy to move on. Samantha and I were in a committed relationship for years. I didn’t write about anyone else when I was working on her. Eventually, I moved onto Abby. Then I left Abby for Sadie. Sadie and I . . . There’s so much to say. I’m still stuck on her. Every time I sit down to write, I write her name. But our relationship has moved onto a new level. It’s kind of like the interoffice romance. We had our fling, but now our one-on-one time is over, and we’ll see each other on occasion when work demands. (Hopefully because an agent is interested in representing the story.) So now I’m trying desperately to make something work with Phoebe. I like Phoebe. I really do, but my mind keeps drifting back to Sadie.
When you write a novel, you fall in love with your characters, and it’s hard when it’s time to move on. But, unless you only have one novel you ever plan to write, inevitably you have to. I’ve heard of people experiencing book hangovers after reading a series, or even a particularly captivating single book. A book hangover is that feeling where you just can’t think of anything else. It sends your world spinning out of control, and you just have to give yourself some time to recover. Think of that times infinity. Well, maybe not, but I’ve always liked to say times infinity, so we’re going to go with it.
Finishing a novel is, in some ways, the ultimate book hangover. After spending so much emotionally charged time with Sadie, it’s time to let her go. She will forever be in my heart, my mind, and my manuscript, but I have to move on. I need a palate cleanser. I should probably read something to help get Sadie off my mind. A quick one night stand that I can just forget about later. But Phoebe and I have already started something. Will it be as magical as what Sadie and I had? I hope so. Hopefully it won’t be just a rebound, but something more.